- THE FANGIRL: What could be worse than being sat by a screaming, crying, falling, gasping-for-air, teenage girl at a concert? I can think of very few things. Although, honestly, you can't really be too angry at the poor things, because chances are they literally can't even help it. Trust me on this, they can't. I have been there and there is nothing, let me reiterate, nothing a fangirl can possibly do to regain her composure when seeing her favorite artist/group/boyband/Harry Styles live. Regardless, you should pray you don't get stuck by one or you'll be in for the most emotional (and probably annoying) roller coaster of your life.
- THE INTERPRETIVE DANCER: You know, the person who is just really moved by the music and feels the need to twirl and wave their arms in the air like two gigantic grass blades blowing in the wind, meanwhile hitting all those around them and blocking the view of the everyone behind them. (Side note: I have definitely been this person at a concert, sorry.)
- THE POSTER-BRINGER: While we're on the topic of blocked views, we cannot forget the poster-bringer. I'm not talking about average sized posters, like whatever, craft away and have your poster, but if you're planning to make a gigantic poster in the hopes the performer will see it, d o n ' t. I kid you not, one time (in the ancient days of One Direction's Take Me Home Tour) the girl sat in front of me brought one of those tri-fold, science-fair boards as her sign. I have no idea how this girl got her 5-foot-tall "poster" in, but I was not about to deal with that and when I asked her to put it down, you would've thought I asked her to cut off her hand (or something equally as morbid).
- THE SITTER: This is the unamused, ready-to-leave, person who will remain seated for the entirety of the concert and probably got forced into attendance by a family member or friend who actually wanted to be at there. Not only is this person wasting a seat that could've been used (actually, unused) by a fan, they're just in absolute buzz-kill to anyone in their general vicinity.
- THE "SHH"-ER: This should be pretty self-explanatory. Honestly, who goes to a concert and expects peace and quiet?! Screams, cheering and loud music are to be expected at a concert. Unless you want to have rolled your eyes enough that they've rolled right out of your head by the end of the night, you should hope you're not near a "shh"-er.
- THE EAR-PLUGGER: If the "shh"-er had a sibling, it would be the ear-plugger. Like the "shh"-er, the ear-plugger wants quiet (why?!), but choses to shower their peers with dirty-looks while plugging their ears, instead of "shh"-ing. Avoid at all costs.
- THE DRINKER: Claiming they can only "loosen up" with a few drinks, this person might start the concert as sitter, "shh"-er, or an ear-plugger, but end the show as an interpretive dancer (*also can be found in the form of middle-age dads at One Direction concerts). They're not the worst to be sat by, just watch out for shloshing drinks that are begging to be dumped on you.
- THE WILDLY IN-LOVE COUPLE: This pair likes to make-out, every slow song, for the whole slow song, (how are you two even breathing?!) which is just a really uncomfortable reminder of how alone the rest of us are.